TAMMY

2011-11-04T00:32:00.002+08:00

Maybe the worst feeling is when you know you are disappointed/upset/angry/heartbroken, but yet you have no reasons to.
Is when your heart tells you you that its hurting badly, but your head telling you you are in no position to feel this way.
Is when emotionally you are not okay, but logically, you shouldn't be not okay.

and this feeling sucks.

gosh, I am so tired, and I still have my IT text in front of me. staring at me and I AM STILL AT CHAPTER 1.
How bad can this day be?

http://shrirammag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/for-grey-skies.jpg

2011-10-03T21:53:00.000+08:00

記得以前，看流星花園的時候，我特別愛花澤類。他曾經說過“當你想哭的時候，只要倒立起來，這樣原本要流出來的眼淚就流不出來了。”
所以養成了我現在的習慣。

想哭，就望著天空。
這樣，眼淚不會流出來，別人也不會看見泛紅的眼眶。

痛的時候，就深呼吸。
這樣，心好像在那幾秒停止跳動，也就不會那麼痛了。

不開心的時候，就笑。越燦爛越好。
這樣，也許能把自己也騙得過去。

鋼鐵人會累嗎？我好累...

謝謝你， Taemin<3

2011-10-01T21:05:00.001+08:00

好久好久沒有來這裡了。
最近我在用電腦的時候我找到蝸牛鬼的space! 發現現在有密碼了。我突然發現我已經很久沒有跟他聊了。我開始很懷念我們以前無話不說的時候。現在的我們，多了些秘密，少了些坦誠。不過跟他聊，我還是覺得很自在。過去的一個多月，過得特別快！大學，真的要加油了！殺~~~~~ (ToT)/~~~

跌倒了，爬起來就好了
因為不跌倒，就學不會
受傷了，洗乾淨就好了
因為沒有傷口，就沒有疤去提醒
痛了，習慣就好了
因為沒有痛，就不會珍惜快樂
哭了，擦乾就好了
因為沒有眼淚，就不會知道甜蜜得來不易

2011-09-07T02:24:00.001+08:00

At 2am, I'm still awake. yay thank you hall life. (:
There's something sickening that is annoying me. Everytime I have to go to driving centre, somehow there will be project group meeting. RAH. Its okay, won't drive me crazy(: I CAN. haha.
Jacqueline sent me some meeting agenda and minutes template today and Im starting to doubt if Im able to do it. haha. Oh well, I have to be able to do it right? :s
Sleeping for only 5+ plus, Im quite awake for now! Thanks to the 2 cups of caffeinated drinks!(:
Oh yeah, finally got my SHINee mags from Michelle!!! and finally got to see her in person. Wahaha. (:
Life has been great for me, despite all the late nights. Thank you:D
I hope my body will finally get used to this lifestyle. I need to stop getting sick. So sick of being sick. -.-
There was one day when this random thought struck me. What if one day I wake up to realize that I don't like what I liked; don't love what I loved; don't hate what I hated.
It's quite a scary thought. I can't imagine myself not liking... Chinese dance? Not loving SHINee. (HAHAHA. actually I might, but for now.. hehe) I hate being awake at night alone. Makes me have random thoughts like this. Then make myself so emo for no good reason. Emoness makes me hungry. I need to stop snacking!!!
Gonna run with khimgeok (finally!!) tomorrow. Forever since I last ran. Was like a month ago, during camp. My stamina is negative, and I have no plans to change this. HAHA.
Talking about running, jz bro is just so sweet! He ran 21k with his gf. wahahaha. Makes me get diabetes! That Jon also!! Look so cute with his gf! wahahahaha. Whoooo~~ too sweet for a night like this!
Sat with OMC during AGM and rally today. Lonely max~~ Must get used to omc soon! And and and learn to make friends and work with new people! I MISS ANDRES LEH HOW.

Go back, and think.

2011-08-19T23:32:00.000+08:00

Received good news(: Not sure if its a good news but its definitely something new and a big challenge for me. I think I will learn alot from this! and I look froward to seeing myself change! (: As I look back, I realised I havent been less responsible or capable in NJ. Its the fear.. that stopped me from seizing all the opportunities. And i saw how they land in the lands of the less capable. I reigned to fate, and lived with it for 2 years. Now, I dont think I suddenly became more mature. But I realised my 3 years in NTU, is short. I have so many things I wanna try, and I really dont know if I have the time to do them anot. Pushed my limits, and I can do it! With the will in my head, I am sure I can do it! GO TAMMY. Nothing is impossible! Its all in the mind(:

NTU life..

2011-08-17T11:18:00.001+08:00

School has started and Im pretty much enjoying my hall life. Not the studying part though. Accounting is getting harder, especially when i was half-dozing off during the lecture. Business law is lame cause i haven't even had a proper lecture and this is like 2nd week of school already. -.- Financial management is chim chim. and I haven't bought my textbook. (Im feeling so broke that I don't wanna get anything anymore! Need to get my mac a cover cause the scratches at the bottom of my mac is still bothering me & i don't want to damage it further. Gonna buy the SWC tee. Expensive.. ): And there is still DnD coming up which means more money flowing out. Needa get dress!) Why am i ranting so much. Having such a bad day since yesterday! Had OMC interview. I don't know how did i perform though. I was being honest and sincere I hope. I really appreciate what the OMC did to my life, esp Fion and Alvin. Like from the quiet and i-dont-exist girl to someone who have friends in hall. I really want a diff lifestyle from NJ. I think NJ had really wasted 2 years of my life. Hopefully OMC wants me and gives me the chance to be someone diff. (: Didn't get to go to supper = emo. Cause the only reason why I stayed back in hall was to go to supper with andres. Late night + being alone in the room + people not replying your SMS = suicidal combination. Was feeling super down and depressed. Oh well! Last night is over! Trying to read my accounting text, trying to focus! but tadah! I end up blogging now(: haha. Has been so long since I blogged & when Im finally doing so, its such a disorganized and emo post!! Cant believe there are actually still people who visit my blog. Prob pressed the wrong link? Shall end off with nice pictures I took during Jash!

2011-07-25T00:05:00.001+08:00

很多人，表面上好像很瞭解我，但卻一點也不。
有些人，看起來一點都不屑我，但卻超級瞭我。
曾經，我好像又很多朋友。
現在，我連數都會害怕。
曾經，我跟一個朋友聊過生日的重要性。
親情，與生俱來，容易不珍惜。
愛情，得來不易，但也不一定有保證。
友情呢？需要時間的考研？我覺得需要用心。
3年前，我有一群陪伴我渡過生日的好友，充滿愛得禮物。
進了nj後，我的生活變了。
我不敢奢求別人會記得，慶祝我的生日。去年，我的生日，我經歷快樂，幸福，溫暖，跟背叛。
今年，一樣有家人的支持與陪伴。卻少了很多朋友的關懷。
我有點心寒。不過沒關係。
Thank you gladys, Nijun, Khimgeok and Zhenzhen:)
哈哈。好妙。
Nijun 和我不算很熟。
Khimgeok，有兩年沒有緊密的聯絡
Zhenzhen我才剛剛認識。我說的話，沒有很白，她卻知道。
緣份。
要求。

:):)

2011-06-25T11:31:00.001+08:00

那天，我跟一個好久好久沒聊的朋友聊天。這隻蝸牛鬼這是太可怕了。他好像是我的一面鏡子。他似乎比我，還瞭解我自己。相反的，我也很內疚。因為我好像不是很瞭解他。也許是我沒有很努力的嘗試過吧。
回想起這兩年，我會不會太沉溺於自己的世界？我忽略了很多以前在我生命中出現過的人。蝸牛鬼，也是其中一個吧… *懺悔中*哈哈。

尊重

2011-06-09T20:26:00.000+08:00

最近，我的生活变得很规律，但却不一样。
好像什么事情少了。
也许我发现，‘尊重’对现在的年轻人已经不再重要了。
我不是难过我不被尊重，而是我觉得，少了对兄长的尊重后的社会，会变得怎么样？
我记得王老师在的时候，我学会很多东西。
因为他，我知道如何去尊重学长姐。
因为他，我知道他们说的话，就等于我们的命令，我们不会怠慢。
他们要什么，我们就会尽快，尽力地去做。
不是什么霸陵，对我来说，这是尊重。
加上王老师，在上课的时候是老师，下课后就是朋友。
这个区分是很明显的。上课，不苟言笑。下课后，打成一片。
也许，这种场面，已经过时了吧。
或者是，他把我们训练得太好了，所以我们不会当学长姐。
那天跟Luke出去，聊到了些成年往事。
我感叹，因为今时以不同往日了。
我害怕，我以后的孩子，是会活在什么样的社会呢？
没有礼貌，没有尊重。
记得以前，我们什么都以munhan'sbatch 为先。
不管做什么，都回问他们的意见，看他们能不能帮忙。
Aristal, Dance camp, SYF, Elections...
都回邀请他们。
现在呢....?
我无言，但我不失望。因为我从来都没有希望过。
但这样，却让我更绝望。

讲到王老师，那天我看着水沟的水，上面有凋零的树叶飘着。
这就是现实。
现实就是，肮脏的污水，载着枯萎的树叶。

这是王老师浪漫的落花流水。

这是现实的落花流水阿....

刚刚，我和我妈聊起回香港的事。

这次的旅行，对我来说，意义慎重。

我第一次，自己一人买机票，搭飞机。

我第一次，用自己的钱旅行。

也是我最后一次，以一个‘小孩’的身份回去。

不管以后，毕不毕得了业，我起码是的大学生了。

我不再是小孩。

回到自己出生的地方，我必须挥别我的稚气。

所以，我很希望，我这九天，都会开心地度过。

你疼我，我知道。我，一樣很疼你。就是因為我疼你，我才避免正面衝突。我疼你，所以我尊重你的決定。既然你疼我，我也希望你能尊重我的決定。你所謂的'幸福快樂'，我無法認同，但我不回去阻止。我旅行，也是為了'幸福快樂'，你可以不認同，但不要去破壞。我渺小的要求，不難。我只求開開心心的旅行，見我想見，我愛的人而已。別的‘人’我說不見就是不見。我說得出，做得到。這也許是我唯一的優點吧。

我真的很希望你能成全我小小的梦想。

Angry

2011-05-12T22:34:00.000+08:00

Today is such a bad day!! Election results was so disappointing. Sigh. What's gonna happen man. I just read xiaxue's blog and I was soooooooo touched by what her friend messaged her on fb! Thanks to her, that I am so involved in this ge! And that I became a big George Yeo fan! :) who says teens are apathetic man!
On a side note, I read another blog post about the current state of aljunied now. STOP BEING BIASED AGAINST PAP PLS. I'm not a pro pap person, I'm just a fan of gy! But I realise people just won't look at pap using a neutral point of view. If let's say low proposed to upgrade lifts in aljunied and it was rejected, people go WALAO EH PAP TRYING TO MAKE US SLUMPS RIGHT. angry. If pap accepts and upgrade the lifts, no one will say oh pap is fair. Instead people go OH YEAH LUCKILY WE VOTE FOR WP. SEE HE HELPED US GET UPGRADES. this is just so lameeeeeeeeeee!!! Youngsters these days........

A recent series of events made me realise how times has changed and I cannot expect youngsters to be how my generation was like. I'm glad that i was born in my time. A time when we respect one another, and also people older than us. I really admire the Korean culture! They respect people older than them or their senior in terms of rank. Well can't expect such tradition to be seen in Singapore. oh wells. Shall marry a Korean! Lol. Taemin oppa~~~~<3

Credits: shiningshinee wordpress:)

Elections

2011-05-07T18:15:00.000+08:00

Whoo~~ Finally, the day has arrived!! I am so excited and I promise I will watch the news today, just to know the elections results. :D Its not that I really care, but I wanna know the fate of Singapore, at least for the next five years.

Nobody owes you a living!!

I'm not saying don't blame the PAP for anything that has gone wrong. Sure, they make mistakes. Big mistakes that may have cost our country billions. I also don't like all the foreign construction workers in SG. Don't like it that my future HDB so puny and still must ballot. And maybe..... a change will do us good.

But will it? Why are people making their choices only focusing on the mistakes that were made, the limitations that the PAP has? I'm focusing on the good work the PAP did.

Am I willing to sacrifice our safety, our political stablity, our ultra low unemployment rate, our high standard of living... all to try out some new Ah mao Ah kow leaders? (No offence to Chen Show Mao) I don't want leh!

CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE. Thanks to Obama "CHANGE" is the new buzzword of the year. You want change?

Change from what to what? If our bar is at "GOOD" now, you want to change it to "EXCELLENT"? You think opposition can do it? What if they change from "GOOD" to "FUCKED"? There is no perfect system. "GOOD" is good enough for me.

Taken from xiaxue's blog.

Usually I read her blog cause I think she takes real nice photos and laugh at her funny posts. This time, I have to agree with her. Like I have mentioned in the previous post, I really think PM Lee has been a good prime minister. And of course, there are other good ministers around. But sad to say, the number is really decreasing. Sigh...

I am excited about tonight!!:D:D:D ANYONE ELSE?:D

2011-05-05T23:03:00.001+08:00

on the last day of rallies, I suddenly feel the urge to talk about this elections. Frankly speaking, I am on neither side. I have to agree with pm Lee that no govt is perfect. And I honestly think that he had been a good pm. He may not be the best pm ever, but I think he has done his job properly as a pm. All the articles about how high paying he is blah, I think the responsibility that he shoulders is beyond monetary value alr. I mean, he even has to be responsible for the flood in Singapore-.- come on la. Okay there are flaws in the draining system in orchard, but who knows that there would be such a heavy rain. But that doesn't mean that you should vote for pap. Opposition does bring in some kind of driving force to push pap to work harder to serve. I think opposition, esp some in workers party and nicole seah have great charisma. But there again, that's kinda it?

Youngsters nowadays are just too obsessed with 'change'. I hate it how oppositions 'sell' themselves by claiming that what they won't do, unlike
Pap. Hello? I don't want to know what you won't do. I want to know what can you do for us. I have to agree that Nicole seah can speak very well. She has the ability to speak like a leader. But does a 24 year old have the maturity to lead a country? I think it's so much easier to speak, than to do.

Okay I have no stand. I really think it's up to you to choose. Pap has people who can lead, and people who don't. ( and we all know who she is) similarly, oppositions have people like the hougang guy and Nicole Seah(next elections maybe). Many people say vote for pap, because we can't afford to lose this minister. I think it's more like are you ready to lose the minister/s.

Pls don't arrest me for my post!!

長大了

2011-04-21T19:39:00.001+08:00

你們長大了。
今天是，比賽，也是，一場表演。
今天是我第一次，坐在台下，看這你們表演。
畫上了妝，穿上了服裝，梳好了頭。
雖然你們手忙腳亂，很慌亂…
我感覺，我當媽了我。
原來看這你們一路的努力，到在台上，散發光芒，是多麼感人的。
不管結果如何，那都不重要。
金，跟榮譽金，其實沒差多少。
努力了，盡力了，就夠了。
看到你們，我會想讓我女兒學舞蹈，讓我在感動一次。

This really remind me of what happened a month back. I was so disappointed with my results that I always think to myself I could have done better! If only I studied 1 more hour everyday. If only I finished all the other schools prelim papers. If only I did my tys one more time. There are so many things I could have done, but I didn't. But what can i do now? I can't go back and finish all these 'if onlys'. Looking at where I am now, I still manage to get into the course I want. I achieved it.

Instead of looking at what you can achieve, look at what you achieved. If you think gold is not good enough, think of schools who got silver or bronze. I agree that hardwork doesn't equate to results. But look again, look at what you have in your hands. Think again, think.. If the award is all that you have got. I don't think so.. :)

:):)

2011-04-16T23:16:00.001+08:00

加油啊！
不要被自己的要求給捆綁住。
不要被比賽給壓得喘不過氣。
不要給自己理由。
把自己最好，在內心深處的那團火表演給觀眾。

海… 總覺得自己在這裡寫得比我在你們面前說的好。

:):)

2011-04-10T18:51:00.001+08:00

Credits: http://shineetown.tumblr.com/

Okay, my post has nothing got to do with this picture:P HAHA. but TAEMIN IS SO CUTE HERE!! keke:P *drools* hahaha.

I was reading wikipedia, on calligraphy and saw this:

The calligrapher also influences the result by the quantity of ink/water he lets the brush take , then by the pressure, inclination, and direction he gives to the brush, producing thinner or bolder strokes, and smooth or toothed borders. Eventually, the speed, accelerations, decelerations of the writer's moves, turns, and crochets, and the stroke order give the "spirit" to the characters, by influencing greatly their final shapes.

Wow. Isnt this really like dance? The dance instructor gives us the 'word', and we decide how to write it. We decide the variation of speed of the movements, we decide what kind of emotions we should inject. We give the dance 'life', and we get to decide how the dance looks like. The only way to touch others, is to touch the dance instructor. Why right? To me, its because he already has the word in mind. He expects to see something thats close to what he had expected. Only when you exceed/ present something nicer than what he had in mind, he will be touched. Make him breathe along with you, make his heart beat along with yours. The only way to do so, is perherps, breathe, and believe. Believe that you can, believe that he would, believe that it will happen. (:

The emotions have been up and low these days. Going crazyy~~ Was super touched by Wang's comment on facebook! Made me cry early in the morning! THANKS WANG! I didnt ever think that I will see you again after leaving primary school! I dont think I can ever meet a nicer dance instructor in my life ever again!!!! THANKS! <3

角色

2011-04-09T23:11:00.001+08:00

角色

我一直都深信人生中，我們都扮演著不同的角色。我們沒有辦法去選擇自己的角色。我們只能選擇要怎麼去扮演好那個角色。例如，世界上有超多的「女兒」。但每個女兒都不一樣。沒有衡量好與壞的標準。也許只有滿不滿意…

我不是甚麼絕頂的好人。我不善良，但也不惡毒。我不是甚麼絕頂聰明的人，但也不至於到笨。我跳舞不精，但也不是甚麼同手同腳的笨蛋（自己覺得的啦）

有時候，我會覺得，我到的做了甚麼？為甚麼我會擁有我現在所有的東西？人生太奧妙了。現在回想起「墨游」我又有甚麼資格去分享他們的榮耀呢？我又有甚麼資格去跟他們一起慶祝呢？那段時間，我不能否認我常埋怨。但現在我聊起那段時期，我會發自內心的笑。

那現在我又是甚麼角色呢？這個星期我沒有回去。也許我還沒搞清楚我能做甚麼吧。對我來說，「我很忙，我沒空」只是我給自己的藉口罷了。我覺得重要的事，我一定會安排時間的。我可能只是想逃避…

也許，我好好的當一個善良的學姊更好。把「加油」當口頭禪。只說好話！

Busy bee

2011-04-05T21:38:00.001+08:00

Omg.
I feel like my life is sooooo boring and meaningless these days!!! Work sleep work sleep with occasional dance practices. It's so periodic but I feel like a brainless robot alr. My brain is gonna turn rusty! I kinda miss how superposition, quantum physics, acid-base equilibrium, integration and econs essays set me thinking!! Now, it's just plain typing. SIAN. I hate to say this BUT I WANT TO QUIT ALR. haahaha but nah. For Gerald I will at least complete 6 weeks? Keke. Work is clearing yet piling!! I have trying to get rid of the stack but he keeps adding! Haha good also la. I dont wanna go outside and survey people. HAHA

The only thing that can make me use my tiny winy brain is dance. Thinking how to help my juniors improve, help them get the mood. I was talking to wahchun that day, asking what can we do to help. He said what's important is the mood, the feel. Yeah, but how? that should make me think for at least another week? Haha! I Hve yet to find out what's the essence of dance? What's the essence of calligraphy? What are the similarities that link these two abstract things tgt? What inspired wu lao shi? How to inspire the judges? So many questions for me....

Should I go back tmr? Tired though.. I WANT STARBUCKS LA.
>:/

2011-04-04T22:57:00.001+08:00

烏無舞悟

當人生好像烏雲密佈，一片漆黑，
當所有事情都不確定，似有似無，
只有沈浸在舞蹈的情緒中，
我們才能領悟到，
「舞出彩虹」的道理吧。

:):)

My blogshop!!

2011-04-03T17:54:00.000+08:00

www.t-watches-t.blogspot.com

yay! When I am finally gonna step into a new phase of life, i have decided to started my little business before I get real busy with uni work! Think it will fail though! but nonetheless POSITIVE THOUGHTS! Nowadays, I have gotten so used to Chinese, my English is deproving like mad! This is bad, and somehow I get freaked out by my bad english sometimes:S haha. Now I wanna nua at home till the end of the world~~~

Went back for dance (again) on saturday and it was peaceful(: Hope everythings gonna turn out fine. I feel so mama-ish nowadays whenever I go back. Its like I want to help them so badly, but where should I start? Thinking deeper, I realise, maybe I am not good enough to say/help! I remember how I used to think that dance was a chore etc, but I never felt that seniors were talking rubbish. But now, i feel like I am talking rubbish and they know it! The journey is long and tough. Encouragement should be given, but to me, its still too soon. Time is slipping away, and the sense of urgency is still not there, I feel. Well, who am I to say right? Was talking to Evelyn and she told me wu said it was a good practice and he was quite happy with it. Yeah, thats whats thats important right? The dance instructor is happy with his work, happy with their improvemnts, happy with the practice. No doubt, they are improving, action-wise.Again, I am in no position to say or scold them, esp if the instructors are happy with it. Sigh.. Sometimes, i really admire my seniors...... Their sensitivity towards dance, their knowledge and everything. oh man..... I MISS WANG TOO. This is so strange.. I remember when I used to see him every wednesday, I think seeing him = normal. I didnt imagine that dance has such a great impact on meeeeeeee. I need a new hobby. I need a life!!!!

I like jjong's voice here(:(:

2011-03-29T21:58:00.000+08:00

omg. suddenly, there are so many people reading my blog. hehe. not exactly many, but happy(:(:
SMU interview was kinda......... scary:s:s
HAHAHA. omg i am so not used to blogging in english:S:S:S:S:S
gonna sleep soon. have to work tmr:S:S:S

GOOD NIGHT:D

<3<3
credits: http://shineetown.tumblr.com/

2011-03-27T00:45:00.002+08:00

Credits: http://www.he.xinhuanet.com/shuhua/2009-04/15/xinsrc_3630406151116109045843.jpg

今天又回去了。
但並不是甚麼明智的選擇。
不是因為他們不需要我的幫忙，而是我根本都不知道怎麼幫。
我的卻不是甚麼好的舞者，也許他們比我還強，但我還是想盡一份力。
也許我了解吳老師的無奈，他的壓力，他的不爽吧。
也許我明白他們其實沒有跳得很爛，改動作也跟他們無關。
但我認為嚇嚇他們也好。
被罵，也許很難受，也許會不開心，但被罵了，進步可能會很神速！
他們需要的是鼓勵，但更需要壓力吧。
一股推動自己不斷進步的力量。
一種精益求精的企圖心。
有學妹跟我說吳老師放棄了他們。
其實他沒有。
如果他放棄了，他不會因為改了動作而生氣。
如果他放棄了，他不會讓你們重來好幾次。
如果他放棄了，他不會罵你們。
我相信吳老師不會放棄你們的，除非你們放棄了。

因為受不了在gym的氣氛，我們逃到了ds1想幫忙。
我寧可我沒幫忙。
我是真正的放棄了。
我真的搞不懂現在的年青人。
希望我以後都不用刁她們樂！！！！！我連罵，都懶得罵了！！！！！(ToT)/~~~

It's now or never!!!
突破吧！加油！！！
希望我在這裡微薄的力量能傳到你們那裡！！！也希望你們懂我在說甚麼！！懂的人留言啊！哈～(^^)

2011-03-26T23:47:00.002+08:00

最好的報復不是以牙還牙，以眼還眼，而是原諒。只有原諒了，你才會發現你值得更好的，而她就會明白搶回來的，不一定適合自己，不見得會幸福。因為“報復需要勇氣，但原諒需要更大的勇氣”。所以，不要跟搶你東西的人翻臉，因為別人只會同情她。相反的，原諒，才會顯得你的家教，教養，脾氣，各方面，都比她優秀。

力量

2011-03-12T23:14:00.000+08:00

the things (videos) that can make me smile nowadays...

面對抉擇的時候，該做甚麼決定？
面對忙忙大海的時候，是該往前走，還是遠遠地觀察浪花？
看著無邊無際的天空的時候，是日出還是日落？
一個人，
做甚麼，都茫然，都孤獨，都不知所措。
一根拐杖，
雖不是腿，但卻能支撐一個人的重量。
一點的溫暖，
也能撐的起無比的壓力。
一把聲音，
一句加油。

我可以的。
一個人，我也可以很好。
Thanks Luke:) thanks val:)
給我力量，陪我闖蕩～

Guilt

2011-03-10T23:29:00.001+08:00

It's the guilt that's killing me inside silently...

Falling

2011-03-04T23:12:00.001+08:00

In life, I believe that everyone falls at least once. Some fall when they were young. Some fall when they were at the top. I think I tripped this time.... Too late to regret but ya:)

I hope I won't fall again. Holding on... Go go go:)

:):)

Mo you

2011-03-02T23:21:00.001+08:00

I watched mo you again.

Finally, I mustered the courage to watch it.

Somehow, the music sounds different now.
Somehow, the dance looked different now.

The music is quieter now. The music is much more intense now. The music has so much more impact now.

Diao-ing was never easy. Doing chinese contem for the first time was such a challenge! I got diao like almost every practice. I got scolded by su Lao Shi, Wang Lao Shi, Eunice, munhan.. So
Many people. I really dread every single dance practice!

I remember once I went home with bruises all over the place and my dad was like what kind of dance is this?! Quit la.

I was super unhappy when I heard him saying that! Now that I recall, actually I didn't dislike njcd that much! I had feelings for it, even during mo you times! Now that I looked back, I am soooooooo grateful to Eunice!! She taught me so much. :) thank you!!!!!

Without those diao-ing I don't think I can make it today! I will be like -- and --!! I wouldn't be able to do 鏡花，綻放!!

The power of dance is not temporary! It last, and it's gonna stay for the rest of my life!

Only when one understand the dance, then one will internalise the actions and make it part of their bodies, part of their lives! Now, whenever i walk in the rain, I will think of 憑海聽雨. Whenever I see ink, I will rmb 墨游！when I see petals blown by the wind, I will think of 鏡花!!

能做的我們做了
能說的我們說了
我不知道你們懂不懂
我不知道你們會不會聽
我不知道我還要做些甚麼去讓你們進步。
嗨.. 加油吧:)

:):)

Efforts

2011-02-27T22:28:00.001+08:00

I am consciously trying my best to keep this blog alive!! Making sure that I am existent in this virtual world:)

Ice yuzi tea:)

Seafood salad

Teriyaki cheese burger:)

Packed my wardrobe!! BEFORE

AFTER:D

Haha my calligraphy is getting worse!! The lack of practice!!!!

My nightmare, but now when I see ink or think of calligraphy, I think of mo you immediately!! The power of dance, the power of Wang:)

Signing off with my love 태민<3

Credits: shineetown.tumblr.com

Good night:)

Dance

2011-02-25T20:32:00.000+08:00

Oh man! Now that I have been visiting nj to watch my juniors practise their syf piece, i really miss dancing!!

I miss dance. Even though I was never good at it, even though I felt stressed dancing at times, even though I know I am not gifted, I really do miss it:)

I miss the good times when I sweat like some shit.
I miss the good times when I feel my cells dancing.
I miss the good times when i feel myself becoming more flexible.

Dear juniors, if you ever see this, don't lose the chance to enjoy. Shine on stage, cause it's your generation. 有很多話我想對你們說，但卻說不出。加油吧！

I know this is no standard......... But....... Hahaha i did my best!:)

:):)

Life:)

2011-02-23T14:21:00.001+08:00

Life...........

When i was young, my parents always tell me i must 知錯能改. Now that I am working, making up for your mistakes doesn't make any difference. The person who found your mistakes will ask you to make it up or you will volunteer to make up for your mistakes, then he/she will tell your supervisor that you made that mistake and then your supervisor come back and tell you to be careful and not make them again. Then why volunteer to make up for your mistakes? Just wait to be warned. :)

:):)

當我知道你們相愛

2011-02-18T13:12:00.002+08:00

當我知道你們相愛

omg this is cool~:D

2011-02-12T20:31:00.001+08:00

Maintaining a blog is really not easy. ):Esp, when my life is now is just so un-exciting and un-inspiring!!! I need new excitements in my life! Haha~~ Since I finally updated my profile and my blogskin, I shall update with a video(: Love~ Loverholic robotronic! haha! Gonna continue updating myself with their past performances and online shopping!

On a high notes, i FINALLY ended my job at CITS. Yes, I really cant wait to leave that department! hehe(:(: Celebrated with a cup of hot chocolate from starbucks!:D Hopefully my next department will be better! *pray hard*

懦弱的我

2011-02-10T19:16:00.001+08:00

我害怕在別人面前哭，因為我討厭被同情的感覺。
我更害怕別人把我的傷口當玩笑。也許對你來說是有趣，但我就禁不起這種玩笑。
我害怕自己太笨，因為我討厭被看不起的感覺。
我更討厭別人一直提醒我我有多沒用。
我很了解自己，只是我不喜歡對別人坦承真正的我是甚麼。
即使你真的看穿我的，不要跟我講。因為你需要看見的是我在你面前的我。
:):)

My last day

2011-02-03T00:47:00.000+08:00

My first job in my life has ended yesterday and I was getting all emotional the day before but when yesterday ended, I felt nothing much. Grateful:) I am only grateful to everyone whom I have worked with there. Thank you for participating in my life, my first job! Haha. I am glad that I met you all and you all really made an impact in my life! I never thought that working will be fun and enjoyable! I must say it really was:) I really enjoyed myself there:) all the laughter, gossip, kpop etc I will never forget:):)

To John: thank you for taking care of me while we working together!! I really enjoy being your runner cause you never stress me or give me stares when I take the wrong books:) thank you for always letting me sit on your chair:):) it's very heartwarming to hear you call me Meimei:):) yay:) haha thanks for letting me choose SHINee's songs when I am angsty about something!! :D

To Basri: A BIG THANK YOU! haha I think thank you just isn't enough!!! Thank you for all the SHINee's albums!! And taemin's file:):) thank you for always playing SHINee's songs when u am there!! Gave me lots of energy when I worked!! Deeply appreciated:)) thank you for always showing me lots of videos that I havent see! Without you I wouldnt be so updated with their videos:):) thank you for always asking me if I am okay! I remember my firt day when I was scanning paper the whole day, you were the first to ask if I was okay! Touched!!! I really enjoyed working with you! Thank you so much:):)

To junhao: haha my last day without you was just so boring and quiet!! Hahaha you have been so fun to work with! You brought so much laugher into my life:) thanks for listening to me rant when my brother wasn't there anymore! Haha thank you for talking rubbish with me to pass time!!! Hahaha!! All the best for your project!! Haha I hope I helped abd your gf will like it:):)

To zhenxiang: haha the only thing I will remember you for is Fei mui!! You were the first one to call me that in my life!! Hahahahaha!! And stop saying true true!!!! Haha thank you for being honest with me. Hahahaha!!

To Jian howe: haha actually I really felt so bad for what happened at work!! I feel like I introduced you in and I should 'take care' of you! Sorry that I did such a bad job! Haha I am glad that you are happier now! Hahaha must enjoy work okay!!! You will really miss it when you leave! Hahahahaha :) STOP EBUDDYING!! hahaha

To everyone in SIM CA dept: thank you for teaching me so many things!! Without you, my first job in my life wouldn't have been so smooth! I will really miss the time spend with you all:)) thank you for forgiving all the mistakes I made there!! Thank you so muchhhhhh!!!

I WILL MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH!! and HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR<3

我的生活只差那个人就美满

2011-01-30T23:52:00.000+08:00

Proof (I really dont have a boyfriend~~~~~~~)

喝酒的伴
一起看电影的伴
早午晚餐的那个伴
朋友不能留得太晚
明天要上班
唱k的伴
一起去旅行的伴
听懂我的笑话的伴
我的生活
只差那个人就美满
快乐剩一人分享
快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽
噢噢~~
没人分享
幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满
节日却提醒我孤单

没有想法
有想法又能怎样
只能写部落格整晚

几个留言安慰不了
心里的遗憾
没有负担原来也是种负担
自由多得让人心慌
你羡慕我
那要不要跟我交换

快乐剩一人分享
快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽
噢噢~~
没人分享
幸福就只剩一半

努力把日子都填满
别来提醒我的孤单
快乐剩一人分享
快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖

"我的生活只差那个人就美满 "

那个人是死到哪里去了啦？！？！？！

改變

2011-01-27T12:06:00.001+08:00

I remember somebody telling me "change is the only constant" :)

對啊，在這個變化莫測地世界，我們不能不變。只是多或少而已。

記得幾個星期，我不是一個SHINee 迷，我甚至不聽韓文歌的！

怎麼會這樣啊？

:):)

蜕变

2011-01-16T18:50:00.000+08:00

我的蜕变~~~~~~

一句话的重量

2011-01-05T22:59:00.000+08:00

一句话的重量

一句话，可以伤了一个人的心。
一句话，可以抹煞了一个人的努力。
一句话，可以扭曲一个人的性格。

简单的一句话，可以像一把锋利的刀子，
把再强悍的人给击倒。

我不一定要穿名牌衣服，名牌鞋，那名牌包。
我不一定要坐跑车，私家车，或是的士。
我不一定要坐头等舱，去欧洲，美国度假。
我可以穿便宜的衣服，裤子，包包。
我可以挤巴士，地铁，走路。
我可以坐经济舱，买便宜机票。

但我不可以吃烂食物。
我不可以容许我自己吃我讨厌的食物。
这不是挑食，
我吃茄子，秋葵，苦瓜...

每个人都有自己爱和不爱的食物阿。
不是只有小孩的喜爱，才叫做挑食。
吃自己爱的食物，会让人开心。
比自己吃自己讨厌的食物，会让人郁闷。

每个人，都有自己忙碌的生活。
学生，读书难道就不辛苦吗？
没有人，没有任何人，有资格去比较谁比较辛苦。
我辛苦，你辛苦，他也辛苦啊。

在辛苦的一天过后，我不奢望有大鱼大肉，
我不期望有鲍参翅肚。
我只求别人体谅我也会累，我也只是希望能吃饱，吃我不讨厌的食物。
但原来，一点希望，一点奢望，都不能，也不应该有。

都是我的错，
所以我是个‘大小姐’，‘捡饮择食’的‘大小姐’啊。
我也希望我是真真正正的大小姐。

何維健 - 當我知道你們相愛首播(Story版) MV

2011-01-03T21:41:00.000+08:00

放棄了放棄了放棄了無奈
放棄了放棄了放棄了無奈
放棄了放棄了放棄了無奈
放棄了放棄了放棄了無奈

還記得我們曾是彼此的唯一
接受了我們情侶關系的是你

沒結果了放棄
挽不了逃避
體驗過了無數個復雜愛情

某一晚在街燈下巧遇
我問候你回應
發現你不是單身的你 Girl

當我知道你們相愛　有了開始　有了未來
在我心裡放不下的也該釋懷
收拾好把他掩埋

當我知道你們相愛　我的心底泛起許多無奈
這時候我該有個專屬幸福
我會不停的等待等待著未來

床底的箱子裡一疊疊的回憶
再厚的思念釋放以後就忘記

沒結果了放棄
挽不了逃避
體驗過了無數個復雜愛情

某一晚在街燈下巧遇
我問候你回應
發現你不是單身的你 Girl

當我知道你們相愛　有了開始　有了未來
在我心裡放不下的也該釋懷
收拾好把他掩埋

當我知道你們相愛　我的心底泛起許多無奈
這時候我該有個專屬幸福
我會不停的等待等待著未來

看著我們的照片一張疊一張
I don't know since when那感覺不一樣
你的笑現在已放在我心上
每分每秒每個角落
我會不停的探索
尋找完美的戀曲
Move on Move on Move on

Passion.

2011-01-02T21:12:00.001+08:00

《热情》我心中的那团火呢？

记得，我那时也曾有过这样的热情。我想当一辈子的舞者。我想去年艺术学院。哈哈。后来，我放弃了。因为，我没有他那么的有才华。我很普通。我只是热爱舞蹈。因为，就像他说的：(Dance) is my way of expressing myself. It's like me, on the inside, like who I really am.

He is so inspiring, so inspiring that he makes me not want to stop dancing.

OKAYYY I PROMISE I WILL DO STRETCHING EVERYDAY AFTER WORK!!! :D:D:D:D:D

P.S. I KNOW WE TWO LOOK FREAKY IN THAT PICTURE! but Matthew reminds me so much of WANG! I MUST REMEMBER HIM! SO TADAHH!:D:D:D

2011-01-01T17:56:00.000+08:00

yeah yeah.. Thats how I survived my boring dayy. Happy New Year:D

Happy 1/1/11!(:(:

2010-12-30T20:03:00.000+08:00

2011-新的开始

2010快结束了！而今天也是我今年最后一天的工作！哇哈哈哈哈！太快了吧。
这年，我长大了。虽然自己说有点不要脸，但我真的觉得我长大了，成熟了，变了。2010，太刺激了。我想我这年所经历的，我永远不会忘记。

我熬过了Aristal，每天跳舞的日子，那时我好累。但现在我却好怀念！因为在舞台上的我，不是我，不单单是我。那个我，没有烦恼，没有忧虑，没有后悔，没有背叛。我有的，只是快乐，笑容，满足，和感情。我交了好多很好的朋友。他们陪我度过了煎熬的日子，在我很彷徨，手足无措的时候，支持我，在我想放弃的时候，鼓励我。(: 友情也许很简单的就能得到，但真挚的友情却少之又少。

2010我也看透了许多事情，许多人。我交了更真心的朋友。让我把故事说说吧！
AA是我本来就很要好的朋友。一直以来，我都认为他是个大男人，对于感情，只会要求女孩子付出。但是，最近我才发现原来，他也很浪漫。他不害怕责任，能给人安全感。他出国的时候，买了两份礼物给心仪的女孩子。可是，他却不知道要送哪份！跟他聊着聊着，才发现原来其中一份是一对情侣连缀！哈哈。也太浪漫了吧！然后我就告诉他把另一份当作是圣诞礼物送她！然后然后，他就说他也是这么想的！我吓呆了！！！！他实在是太台太太浪漫了！！！！！！受不了！太甜蜜了！
我也跟了解了我身边的一些朋友！我发现了BB其实不是我想象中的那种人。他不是坏人，只适合我想的不一样。跟别人聊天我才发现原来他是多害怕被不喜欢的。我学会了原来人都是寂寞的。不管表面上装得多么潇洒，心里都是寂寞的。我们都想要被接受，被别人喜欢。
为了被接受，我们会捉出许多事情去讨好别人。有的人，是发自内心的想要对别人好，有的却是有心计的策划一切。能遇到前者的人是难上加难啊，但后者却到处都是！我就遇到了后者。CC心里想的是深不可测啊。我看到他，都会心寒，害怕。

哈哈。希望明年会更好！只希望成绩不错啦~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MERRY CHRISTMASSS:D

2010-12-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

台中聖誕音樂會_胡夏_3_愛都是對的

2010-12-25T20:29:00.000+08:00

我要過多久才能好呢
有好多辛苦路得走
走到口渴眼淚乾了
人會領悟些什麼

回憶是記者
它會挖出不為人知的寂寞
每一個人的以前
住在心裡像事後的孤兒

誰記得那給你心碎的前者
看著月光的河變成一片要命的沙漠
許多人都被騙還硬說太值得
愛都是對的
誰忘了那關於愛情的規則
多少兩人漫步變成街上一個人哭著
被拋棄的紀念馬路上漂流著
唉人都一樣遠離快樂

嘿往事重演又去愛了
好些對話是相似的
以前的我它在鬧著
愛有好多下集呢

命運輪迴著
愛的前身看著時間苦笑呢
浪費一生的想念
最後才懂什麼應該割捨

誰記得那給你心碎的前者
看著月光的河變成一片要命的沙漠
許多人都被騙還硬說太值得
愛都是對的
誰忘了那關於愛情的規則
多少兩人漫步變成街上一個人哭著
被拋棄的紀念馬路上漂流著
唉人都一樣遠離快樂

誰記得那給你心碎的前者
看著月光的河變成一片要命的沙漠
許多人都被騙還硬說太值得
愛都是對的
誰忘了那關於愛情的規則
多少兩人漫步變成街上一個人哭著
被拋棄的紀念馬路上漂流著
唉人都一樣遠離快樂

誰被愛選中做下一個

圣诞-新的开始！

2010-12-25T17:53:00.000+08:00

http://img1.loadtr.com/b-470088-The_Christmas_tree_.jpg

娃哈哈哈哈！终于好了。
圣诞佳节我足不出户，躲在家里搞这个！
我忘了去年的圣诞我怎么过的了。
今年就安安静静地度过吧。

MERRY CHRISTMAS(:(:

女孩的悲哀

2010-10-19T21:52:00.000+08:00

女孩的悲哀

女孩就應該裝得弱不經風，沒有男人就會死。
記得要學會
⑴ 不能自己開水壺
⑵ 就算站著，也會莫名其妙的站不穩或跌倒
⑶ 甚麼都不懂，用最最最嗲的聲音問
⑷ 不管別人要不要幫忙，都要假好心的伸出援手。
⑸ 把微笑隨時隨地掛在臉上，讓全世界都覺得你很友善
⑹ 把眼淚當作武器，不如意，任何時候，都要裝要哭的樣子。

世界怎麼了？

2010-09-09T00:32:00.000+08:00

世界怎麼了？

我愛你你愛她她愛她她愛他
你愛我我愛他他愛他他愛她
咿？怎麼這世界已經沒有人相愛
怎麼這世界每個人都不快樂
怎麼這世界沒個人都愛別人
不愛自己...

這世界變了嗎？還是一向來都這麼現實？

每個人都只會站在自己的角度去想別人。是啊，我也是。

所以沒有人有資格去指責他人對待別人的態度。

一個小學生不會瞭解一個大學生的壓力。
一個大學生不會瞭解一個小學生的幼稚。

一個媽媽不會瞭解一個爸爸維持的尊严。
一個爸爸不會瞭解一個妈妈喂母乳的辛苦。

一個妹妹╱弟弟不會瞭解一個哥哥／姐姐做榜样的压力。
一個哥哥／姐姐不會瞭解一個妹妹／弟弟想要跟他們一樣出色的無助。

一個結了婚的人不會瞭解一個單身漢的自由。
一個單身漢不會瞭解一個已婚人士的幸福美滿。

一個有孩子的爸媽不會瞭解一個沒有孩子的人的無拘無束。
一個沒有孩子的人不會瞭解一個有兒有女的爸媽的擔憂。

每個人有每個人的煩腦。所謂“家家有本難念的經”。我們不會瞭解別人的問題。但我們能做的，也只有在我們愛的人需要幫忙的時候，無私地，毫無疑問地伸出援手。因為開口想別人要求幫忙，是一件多難的事啊。放下尊嚴，拉下臉來，卑微地，謙虛的求救。

我懂了

2010-09-03T22:44:00.000+08:00

我懂了

今天我問Mel我哪裡變了。在那一刻，我只是知道我變了，但卻不知道到底哪裡不一樣了。但此時此刻，我懂了。我堅強了，我虛偽了，我麻木了。我不再覺得我會痛。我不再認為人之初性本善。

亂

2010-07-22T18:16:00.000+08:00

One man's import is one man's export.

對啊。

一個人的太陽，也能是另一個人的月亮。

一個人的晴天，也能是另一個人的雨天。

一個人的白雲，也能是另一個人的烏雲。

一個人的甜蜜，也能是另一個人的孤單。

一個人的快樂，也能是另一個人的心痛。

一個人的笑容，也能是另一個人的淚水。

我根本沒有奢求甚麼。我們好像越來越遠... 這種不安把我壓得喘不過氣來... （；＿；）

2010-07-17T23:28:00.000+08:00

巨蟹是心軟的，容易被感動，即使表面看起來總是有一副硬硬的殼，但那殼子底下是一顆柔軟敏感到極至的內心。它們面對一份感情是猶豫再三的，不要說它們懦弱，它們只是明白自己是容易受傷的。他們對感情抱有信仰，相信純真、相信天長地久，所以有時是挑剔的。這是一層表面堅硬的殼，其實攻克輕而易舉，因為蟹蟹有一顆柔軟的心。蟹蟹戀愛了，這時的它們變的很粘人，很婆媽，因為你是它的中心，它會為你考慮很多，飯吃了嗎？天氣會變了嗎？記得帶傘哦！路上車多，慢點走哦！……..諸如此類！蟹蟹是深情而癡情的，愛上一個人會愛的很深，即使明知道沒有結果也很難自拔。這是巨蟹的一種固執，想要得到的東西，往往不會輕易放手。有時，一段沒有結果的戀情會成為蟹蟹的生活重心。這無疑是痛苦的，但又難以自拔。然而，巨蟹的不安全感又在內心大叫著放棄，所以這時的蟹蟹總是在堅持和放棄的巨大矛盾中苦苦煎熬著。學會放棄是蟹蟹的一門功課. 當然，如果蟹蟹真的決定放棄了，它的堅決會讓所有人吃驚。要記住：除了你自己，沒有人可以傷害到你蟹子是癡情的，但又不善於表達，面對自己心愛的人拘謹、放不開。它們的幽默感此刻變得生澀。蟹子是深情的，但又不善於把握，為什麼一次次控制不住自己的情緒，說出明知不該講的話？分裂而善於幻想的寄居蟹在說巨蟹之前，先說說幾個一直以來欣賞的幾個偶像，他們都不同，但他們有一個共同點，就是，他們都是巨蟹男。周星馳，王家衛，羅大佑，李宗盛，梁朝偉，張學友……一般在每次排行榜中總是靠末的巨蟹們，看起來並沒有很明顯的個性，但是，他們在藝術方面的直覺和敏銳卻是別人難以匹敵，從這幾個人名裡就不難看出。他們在生活中都是溫文爾雅的，被動的，甚至往往是沉默的，但是在他們的電影，歌曲中，卻展露出令人驚異的才華，讓我們總是不由自主的為之傾倒。當周星馳讓我們笑得淚水橫流的時候，我們也早聽聞其實戲外的他認真嚴肅，不苟言笑，對待朋友和情人都很苛刻；我們知道在戲裡演什麼都神形畢似的影帝梁朝偉同性格南轅北轍的射手劉嘉玲20多年同居，至今都不願結婚，他總是說，其實他的人生就是在戲裡；我們知道張學友出道前曾經是黑社會的小混混，天天宿醉，自暴自棄，也看到張學友成名後依然為了家庭拚命打拼，幾近崩潰…… 　　這就是巨蟹，其實，最能說明巨蟹特質的，就是－－分裂無論是哪一種蟹，他們都有著分裂的思想。他們渴望安定，也渴望出人頭地，他們內心充滿藝術的靈感，誇張的幻象，但是在現實生活中，他們總是低眉順眼，很難真正展露心中的狂想。所以在藝術的舞台上，他們反而得以施展，讓心中奇異的狂想放大到極致，他們可以將任何一首歌一個角色演繹的入木三分，所有來自於生活中被動的接受，在藝術的殿堂上得到了最好的宣洩，所以巨蟹真的應該屬於舞台。即使沒有好的歌喉沒有好的外形，但是他們有良好的感受力和表現力，他們的性格實際上更像是一隻寄居蟹，在真正自我的生活中，他們常常將自己包裹的很緊，但在詮釋和演繹別人的時候，他們那內心的感情得到了釋放。　　巨蟹座的另一個長處是他們有著哲學的思考力世界因兩股力量相互消長，而水象就是典型的陰柔之力。水象星座的人有一種天生的宇宙觀，巨蟹也是如此，加之他們天生有母愛的情結，所以他們的思考往往帶有著人性化的關懷。所以從事與藝術相關的行業的巨蟹，無論如何都可以算是幸運的巨蟹，因為能夠得以發揮天然的性格所長。但是不是每個巨蟹都有這樣的機會，所以大多數巨蟹都會感到自己的壓抑和痛苦。他們不是沒有渴望，相反他們需求很多，渴望很多，但是他們總是躲在自己的殼裡做著各式各樣的幻夢，只是在想，很少實施。所以如果你看到的總是低眉順眼的巨蟹實際上並不是真正的巨蟹。那只是巨蟹的一個假象。　　永遠無法抹去的自卑巨蟹們其實是自我感覺很好的心高氣傲的一群人，但是卻又難以克服時時刻刻想躲進殼裡的自卑感。他們天生多疑和敏感，碰到困難，就先躲進殼裡，自欺欺人，在夢中編織自我的安全感，而從來沒有想到如何主動將危機轉化為機遇。他們對待困難的消極方式，使他們總很難真正木秀於林，他們總在捕捉他們認為最好的時機，但是那個時機卻總是無法到來，其實世間哪有萬全之策？當蟹蟹們艱苦的自我互博之時，大好時機已經失去。但是要改變這種天生的自卑感確乎很難，蟹蟹們幾乎完全不由自主。懷舊是巨蟹們的人生主旋律巨蟹們非常懷舊。他們喜歡舊東西，懷戀舊感情，對家庭有著天然的眷戀。泛黃的相片，褪色的絲帶，塵封的梳妝台……所有一切帶有浪漫情調的舊物，都可以讓他們獨自神傷，黯然追想，他們總是沉浸在過去的回憶裡，永遠記得年少時的孤寂敏感，永遠記得初戀情人，多年後仍然四處找尋初戀情人的消息，慰籍多年來始終保持新鮮的記憶。所以王家衛的電影總喜歡用這樣的句式開頭：多年以後…… 　　忽冷忽熱患得患失的愛情他們天生悲觀，永遠需要多一點，更多一點的安全感。為什麼他們如此需要安全感，因為他們天生就沒有安全感，所以他們是很容易恐慌的，所以他們也就變得非常的多疑和猜忌。愛上一個巨蟹是要仔細思量的，因為他們會突然忽冷忽熱，突然置之不理，突然惡言相向，但是其實他們並非不愛你，他們有時候是在跟自己嘔氣。他們渴望天天24小時同你粘在一起，他們對愛人有著強烈的佔有慾，恨不得掏心掏肺給你，他們關注你的點點滴滴，小到為你買一支發卡，大到幫你選擇哪路公車……他們都費勁心思，他們時時刻刻每件事都為你考量，但又因為付出的不停增加而變得越來越擔心害怕，會不會得不到對等的愛。所以他們會突然變得冷淡了，也許只因為你一個眼神，他們就覺得你已經不如從前，於是開始無休止的試探，他們說話總是轉彎抹角，但是卻總希望你永遠清晰表態，假設某天你也含糊了一下，那就完了，蟹蟹們立刻條件反射的開始惴想出無數個虛擬場景，在無盡的悲觀中，意淫出種種悲慘場面，然後再見你時，就已經是冷口冷面，甚至說出無比絕情的話語－－所以，你和巨蟹的他們，是要努力去磨合的，給他們足夠的信賴和安全，他們回饋你的，絕對讓你感動的熱淚盈眶。　　虛偽包裝下易感的心實際上巨蟹善於偽裝。他們喜歡笑，無論何時何地，他們常常微笑，也許這笑容有時候讓人欣慰，但有時候卻會讓人感到非常的虛偽。當然巨蟹們也總有自己的小奸小壞，但是他們虛偽的前提卻總是先為了保護自己。他們對自己應得的利益是淄銖必較，有時候會讓人感到他們是不是很小心眼，但是，在朋友聚會等場合上，他們又絕對是豪爽大方，主動搶著付賬的人。所以其實巨蟹是個公私概念很明確的人，他們對該得的絕對毫不客氣，而對待朋友，他們又覺得其實這點錢根本不算什麼。他們是眷戀朋友和家人的，他們基本都有些喜歡酒。而且酒量都還不錯，因為他們眷戀那種賓客相盡歡的氣氛，更眷戀著家的和樂融洽之感。所以巨蟹們喜歡做飯，即使不會做飯也對美食有天然偏愛，他們懂得享受居家生活，所以巨蟹們有個理想婚姻是最快樂的事情。問題是巨蟹們卻常常選擇晚婚或不結婚，因為他們多疑又害怕，他們總是對新幻境充滿懷疑，對新的家庭又嚮往又拒絕，在自我矛盾中，不斷蹉跎了年華。　　自己為自己創造安定感覺巨蟹們總是不安，這是一種不好的感覺，因為如此，許多巨蟹枉然蹉跎，終日鬱鬱。其實，巨蟹們可以嘗試自己為自己創造安定的感覺。找一個家裡人都喜歡的對象，建立一個自己的家，也許巨蟹會發現自己會變得安穩很多。找個摩羯是比較理想的選擇。或者找一個自己的愛好，傾注所有的心血，自己也會變得安定很多。當然蟹蟹們也許會說，你這是站著說話不腰疼啊，要是那麼容易的話，還用得著你說嗎？呵。但是，無論怎樣，當我們自己意識到自己的不安，就該努力去克服他，其實殼外的世界，沒有那麼可怕，這是真的。　　總的說來，巨蟹們很可愛，尤其是在藝術上有成就的那些人，他們創造的都是令人仰止的豐碑，所以巨蟹們不必沒來由自卑，其實你們都很出色。

置身事外

2010-07-13T20:21:00.000+08:00

有些事情不是不去想，不去說，不去看，就可以當沒有發生過...

阿妹A MEI/阿密特 A MIT - 掉了完整 MV

2010-06-27T15:46:00.000+08:00

錯過

2010-06-15T23:05:00.000+08:00

錯過

昨天，我去了mel的演奏會。

震撼，而且感覺奇妙。

也許是因為我跟grace聊了好多。

天那！

原來我錯過了那麼多。

在她茫然失措的時候，我到底在干嘛？

我已經記不起了。

但我也真的錯過了。

同時，也來不及後悔。

在她甜蜜，戀愛的時候，

我也不在。

我，好像不再參與她的人生。

幸好的是，我跟上了。

我聴到了她當時的恐懼，

看見了她現在的甜蜜。

：）：）：）

希望她會喜歡我'做'的禮物！

我不想再錯過了！

<3<3<3<3

2010-06-13T19:46:00.001+08:00

阎奕格《Superwoman》

Early in the morning I put breakfast at your table,
and make sure that your coffee has its sugar and cream...
Your eggs are overeasy, your toast unlikely,
all that's missing is your morning kiss that used to greet me...
Now you say the juice is sour, it used to be so sweet,
and I can't help but to wonder if you're talking about me...
We don't talk the way we used to talk, it's hurting so deep,
I've got my pride, I will not cry, but it's making me weak...
I'm not your superwoman...
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down,
and think that everything is okay...
Boy I am only human...
This girl needs more than occasional hugs
as a token of love from you to me...

I fought my way through the rush hour trying to make it home just for you...
I want to make sure that your dinner will be waiting for you...
But when you get there, you just tell me you're not hungry at all,
you said you'd rather read the paper and you don't want to talk...
You like to think that I'm just crazy when I say that you've changed,
I'm convinced I know the problem, you don't love me the same...
You're just going through the motions and you're not being fair,
I've got my pride, I will not cry, still I can't help but care!!!

I'm not your superwoman...(oh no no no!!!)
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
and think that everything is okay...
Boy I am only human...(I'm only human!!!)
This girl needs more than occasional hugs
as a token of love from you to me...

I'm not your superwoman...
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
and think that everything is okay...
Boy I am only human...
This girl needs more than occasional hugs
as a token of love from you to me...

Oooh, baby!!!
Look into the corners of your mind,
I'll always be there for you through good and bad times,
but I can't be the superwoman that you want me to be!!
I'll give my everlasting love if you'll return love to me!!
I'm not your superwoman!!!!

I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
and think that everything is okay...
Boy I am only human...
This girl needs more than occasional hugs
as a token of love from you to me...

Oh!!! If you feel it in your heart and you understand me,
stop right where you are, everybody sing along with me!
(hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo...)
I'm the kind of girl that can treat you so sweet,
but you got to realize that you got to be sweeter to me!!!
I need love, I need just your love, I'm not your superwoman...

奇妙

2010-06-11T18:11:00.000+08:00

最近好奇妙哦。

好多人跑來跟我說 don't emo okay? 還有開心點。

是什麼意思啊？

是以前的我太樂觀了，太像個小丑嗎？哈哈！！

可怕的是我根本感覺不到我的改變。

我只是厭倦了生活，喧鬧，人潮，朋友，家人，所有的生物。

偶而想要一個人，慢慢地呼吸，聆聽自己的心跳。

那天，我跟一個重要的人說：我想自己一個人搬到森林里去住。

他竟然說他也想這麼做。

天那！原來我不畸形耶。哈哈！！！

心里暖暖的，心情變好了。

那天dance camp 我領悟了。

信任，已經沒有了。

有些朋友，永遠當不了姐妹。

有的卻易如反掌地變成好朋友。

很高興我兩種人我都遇到了。

至少好姐妹，只限於當朋友的人都有了。

2010-06-09T22:04:00.001+08:00

朋友不要因為失去而傷心為期望下個心動而微笑吧

也许把...

Faith

2010-06-08T22:17:00.000+08:00

我相信没有一个人是个独立的个体。

我们都因为别人的存在而改变了我们自己存在的价值。

我，因为你的成熟而显得幼稚。

我，因为你的懂事而显得任性。

我，因为你的细心而显得糊涂。

我，因为你的聪明而显得很笨。

我，因为你的存在而显得不同。

每个人都会因为别人而变得不一样。

不管他知不知道他在别人的生命有多重要，他都扮演着举足轻重的角色。

不关别人想不想他知道他的重要性，那都不重要。

有些话，要放在心里才会最美。

2010-06-07T21:22:00.000+08:00

Helpless
Hungry
Tired
Angry
Upset

Everything just isn't right..

I feel something rolling down.
Is it tears?
Is it blood?
Is it sweat?

一句话的重量

2010-06-03T19:25:00.000+08:00

一句话的重量

有人说to see is to believe

但真的是嗎？

還是一切决定于我們如何去看待人情世故？

人的角度真特別。

每個人都不一樣，卻也因此而像似。

人生的奧妙，何時才能看清呢？

要放棄，力不從心

每當以為能放得掉的時候，卻又臨陣退縮。

嗨... 人啊

「我想看清，卻看也看不清。」

2010-05-27T13:01:00.000+08:00

怪
人生總有几天，心裡會覺得怪怪的。
是我變了，還是別人變了？
突然間態度的轉變是什麼原因？
我很想知道，但卻也心有余而力不足。
我好累哦 ...................

一封簡訊

2010-05-24T14:29:00.000+08:00

一封簡訊
是啊，今天clement的一封簡訊讓我領悟了一個事實。朋友真的是容易交，卻也容易失去。一個誤會，一個爭吵，一個男人／女人，都能輕松地把一段經歷過千辛萬苦的友情。多麼不忍，多麼痛心都阻止不了。心寒啊...

矛盾

2010-05-22T19:49:00.000+08:00

矛盾啊...

我從小就是看電視長大的。
看過的連續劇大概過百了吧。
每次在看的時候，我都會想像如果發生在我的身上的話我會怎麼辦。

如果，
我愛上的男人是個賊怎麼辦？
是安然地接受他的'事業'
是正直地轉頭离他而去
是欣慰地要他為我改變
是哪一個？

如果，
我的男朋友的家庭跟我的是世仇呢？
是放棄
是堅持
是遠走高飛
是哪一個？

如果，
我和好朋友愛上同一個男生了呢？
是友誼第一，強忍眼淚地退出
是愛情至上，兩人公平地競爭
是選擇逃避，一人獨自地面對
是哪一個？

如果，
我的老公外遇呢？
是原諒
是離婚
是不想接受
是哪一個？

人生本來就擁有酸甜苦辣
有許多的問題要解決
有許多的喜怒哀樂
有很多很多的難題。

我該怎麼面對人生所帶給我所有的壓力與難題啊。
神啊救救我吧！

不能说的秘密

2010-05-22T08:52:00.001+08:00

如果...

能抛开一切，去追求自己要的，心里会好过一些吗？

矛盾，它象海啸一样，不断地，狠狠地，把我打醒。

心，还是...脑？

这从来就不容易。

我不想，不愿意，也不能把你排除在外。

我们都有不能说的秘密。

只是在等待某人先开口。

什么时候才对，才不会太迟呢？

2010-05-20T19:18:00.000+08:00

我想要...

住在一個泡泡裡面。
對於事情置身之外。
控制自己別胡思亂想。
把所有情緒鎖在一個箱子裡。
知道我的目標。
知道你的想法。
知道他的感覺。

我喜歡...

在後台看台上的表演。
因為我看到的是舞者的心酸，辛苦，緊張，興奮。

我喜歡在台下看表演。
因為看到的是舞者的高雅，美麗。

我不想，不要想，想一些有的沒的...

2010-05-15T20:55:00.001+08:00

2010-05-11T21:33:00.003+08:00

只要进入了，就已经无法再用旁观者的角度不了解事情的全部了。

我需要一面魔镜，让他来告诉我，我到底在干嘛。

一段简单的话，试着用第三者的角度去问。

答案，却像冰水一样把我泼醒。

身体麻麻的，却还要忙着找借口。

明明是要，但却把一切推开。

明明是难过，但却把笑容挂在脸上。

明明是不爽，但却假装自己比谁还兴奋。

明明知道事实不动听，但却偏偏要挖个洞让自己跳进去。

明明知道童话故事的结局是不可能，却还傻傻的期待着奇迹。

跟隨著你的天氣　調整我的悲或喜

歌，唱得再动人，也不够自己体验的深。

戏，演得再入戏，也不够自己的感受来的深。

我很想跳脱这幅画，太拥挤了。

但我却舍不得离开这幅画的美丽。

再多几个月吧。

一切就结束了。

时间，会淡化一切。

亲情，友情，爱情。

一切，的一切。

我想我並不聰明
我沒有你的機靈
在愛情變質之前我沒反應
沒察覺你的表情

你知道我不聰明
所以才選擇放棄
放棄去猜你每一個反應
去猜你是否變心

放棄你放棄愛情
放棄了所有權利
連自己都知道這不公平
放棄你放棄自己
放棄了愛的權利
放棄你等於放棄我自己

你知道我不聰明
所以才選擇放棄
放棄去猜該如何留住你
轉載來自 ※Mojim.com　魔鏡歌詞網
放棄了所有回憶

放棄你放棄愛情
放棄了所有權利
連自己都知道這不公平
放棄你放棄自己
放棄了愛的權利
放棄你等於放棄我自己

放棄你放棄愛情
放棄了所有權利
連自己都知道這不公平
放棄你放棄自己
放棄了愛的權利
放棄你等於放棄我自己
放棄你等於放棄我自己

2010-05-09T23:35:00.000+08:00

my conversation with wahchun!

wahchun. Happy Mama's Day! says:
heyy tammy
T <3 洛克先生 says:
yup yup?
wahchun. Happy Mama's Day! says:
i dun get the hx thing lol
T <3 洛克先生 says:
HAHAHA
your hx is hanxie right?
wahchun. Happy Mama's Day! says:
yup
T <3 洛克先生 says:
HAHA our hx is **** ****!
LOL
wahchun. Happy Mama's Day! says:
ok actually not mine, is munhan's
orhh
T <3 洛克先生 says:
HAHAHA AS IN THE ONE YOU WERE REFERRING TO LA
LOL
hahahahhahaha!
wahchun. Happy Mama's Day! says:
nvm i dunno who's **** **** haha
T <3 洛克先生 says:
HAHA
some irritaing china scholar who suck at dancing
irritating*
wahchun. Happy Mama's Day! says:
^ whoa
ehh wait sounds familiar
T <3 洛克先生 says:
HAHHAHAHAHA
the one who blocks you during the v shape part!
wahchun. Happy Mama's Day! says:
was she the one who refused to move to the other wing for the v shape
ORH
YEAH I KNOW WHO'S THAT LOL
T <3 洛克先生 says:
YES TOTALLY!
wahchun. Happy Mama's Day! says:
LOLOLOLOL

omgosh. this whole thing makes me high!!:D:D:D:D:D

2010-05-07T21:26:00.000+08:00

今天課室里的空氣變得好沉重。
一切讓我覺得好累。
有种感覺，一切會變得不一樣。
忐忑不安。

鍾嘉欣-暗示(原裝MV)高畫質立體聲版

2010-05-03T19:11:00.000+08:00

沉默卻想你會知
內心的感覺一個美好故事
難道我的暗示不足夠
去讓你知內裡意思

誰又信多數女子
極想都不會直言濃情蜜意
只想保護這份情感一切不得已
能做到已做仍沒法子

難明示就暗戀多麼理智
當中可感到身體語言提示
從未講喜歡兩字聽說相戀要及時
在最好那時光
開心過愛情還是沒有開始
純良地如同白紙
從來都一心一意我卻詞難達意
不敢表白繼續如此
是我擔心你是我不想你有事
明明在意你卻誤會我會是真意

從沒有魔法鏡子什麼都不說
向我如何會意
多走一步卻又停低多退縮一次
逃避去保證其實你知

難明示就暗戀多麼理智
當中可感到身體語言提示
從未講喜歡兩字聽說相戀要及時
在最好那時光
開心過愛情還是沒有開始
純良地如同白紙
從來都一心一意我卻詞難達意
不敢表白繼續如此
是我擔心你是我不想你有事
明明在意你卻誤會我會是真意

還在對做甜蜜的感覺是單向或相思

旁人在說太多都不介意
只想得到你一些眼神提示
自言自語多少譬喻
你怎麼總要懷疑是我使你受傷
即使痛苦幾次原來沒意思
純良地如同白紙
從來都一心一意我卻詞難達意
不敢表白繼續如此
是我擔心你是我不想你有事
明明在意你卻並沒信心誠實一次

2010-05-01T22:17:00.004+08:00

今天太充实了。

心里好多话想说，

但却不知道要跟谁说。

也许，

我习惯了跟自己谈心事。

一个人，

我觉得跟自由吧，

不需要理会别人的看法与意见，

可以坦荡荡的，潇洒得打开心灵的秘密。

在回家的途中，

我望着黑黑的天空，

心里在想，

人的心，也是个黑洞吗？

我们不需要向别人交代什么，

只需对自己负责。

很多秘密，很多情绪，

只有自己分享得了。

我越来越享受自己一个人，观察周围的感觉了。

我跟Claudia聊了一些感情上的话题。

她的故事，让我问了自己一个没有回答的问题。

男朋友，是必需品还是附属品？

在一起，是为了爱还是只是习惯？

有的人认为爱情是附属品，

而我认为爱情是必需品。

不是为了男友，而去找一个。

反而是因为我们需要爱，也值得被爱。

也许，我渴望一个肩膀。

这个肩膀，不是家人的，不是朋友的。

但我不是饥渴。

真的，

只是累了一个人的生活。

哈哈。

那天，我妈问我，

你希望XX找到第二春，还是当个小富婆？

我回答了：“当然是爱情。”

一个女人，心里的寂寞，是多么的折磨人啊。

拉扯着心里的每一条神经。

每一个心跳，都是为了你而抽动着。

每一次手机的震动，都希望是你的简讯/来电。

那种等待，是酸酸甜甜的。

耐人寻味，但却不喜欢的感觉。

咳..人啊。

我觉得我应该少看点电视。

不然我所有的灵感，都会令人误会我是不是交男朋友了。

不要乱想，也不要问。

我需要的是一个人，把想法掏空。

这样，脑子才能有新的灵感。

2010-04-29T20:18:00.004+08:00

一个天生的舞者

感动，

心中莫名的感动是无法用一字一句表达的。

也许不是莫名的，

只是那股力量，

连我都不知道从哪里来的。

那天的镜花水月，

是我跳这么久以来，

最有感觉得一次。

我应该感到惭愧吧。

想象花落，

想象花失去支柱，

失措，但却优雅。

是动力吧。

真的谢谢大家。

任何的东西飘零在空中。

就算是淋了雨，也不会畏惧，坚强的随风飘舞。

遗失的<3回来了。>

2010-04-27T19:04:00.003+08:00

http://images.google.com.sg/imglanding?q=flowers%20blown%20by%20wind&imgurl=http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3579/3800064366_1ffca98064.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.flickr.com/photos/toppshots/3800064366/&usg=__b33q6tk04Bw7PP-SyWUaiq81sJI=&h=341&w=500&sz=54&hl=en&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=MojkYfSCcjVRXM:&tbnh=89&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dflowers%2Bblown%2Bby%2Bwind%26start%3D189%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN%26ndsp%3D21%26tbs%3Disch:1&start=186&um=1&lr=&sa=N&ndsp=21&tbs=isch:1#tbnid=MojkYfSCcjVRXM&start=190

花，漸漸地凋零，飄落在微風中，是怎樣的心情？
是哀傷，還是興奮？
是在為短暫的生命而難過，還是為生命最後一次的綻放而舞蹈著？
是在為生命的結束而遺憾，還是為下一次花開慶祝？
花，為誰而開？
花，為誰而死？
花開，花謝，意味著什麼？
一段生命的起程，還是季節的末端？
花，為誰而美？
花，為誰而謝？
我，又為誰而舞蹈著，為誰而活？
若有花的美，誰又會欣賞？
若有花的香，誰又會為我而停下腳步？
若有花的生命，我為誰而愛著。
誰又會把我帶走？
是風？是水？還是你？

我想當鏡中的花，還是花中的鏡？

2010-04-25T22:28:00.003+08:00

我們有太多的愛。

有一種愛是天生的愛，
雖然有時覺得很煩，
但聽到都會覺得甜甜的。
那是父母的愛。

有一種愛是共同的愛，
一出生就擁有，
一輩子都不能分開的愛。
雖然有時吵吵鬧鬧的，
人生樂趣來自互虧，
但見到面時還是會有安全感。
那是哥哥的愛。

有一種愛是沒有血緣，但卻像親人一樣的愛。
從認識到現在，
感情一點一點的累積。
只有你，
能像透視眼一樣看穿我的變化。
那種變化就連我都沒有擦覺。
總是在我需要幫忙時，
挺身而出，毫不顧慮的拔刀相助。
那是jiejie和gorgor的愛。

有一種愛是很特別的愛。
沒有在一起，
但感情卻比情人還好。
每天都像關心你過得好不好。
雖然偶爾會失望難過，
但我們永遠都為彼此加油打氣。
那是BFF的愛。

有一種愛是熟悉的愛，
是很久沒有聯絡，
但感情依舊很好。
是一種只要你需要她，
她都在的欣慰。
那是Grace的愛。

有一種愛是從未正式見面的愛。
不算是親密好友，
但也不是擦身而過的陌生人。
默默地關心著，
想讓我心情好起來。
那是Gary的愛。

有一種愛是讓人敞開心房的愛。
雖然認識十幾年，
但近年才開始變得熟悉。
那種安全感，
讓我不顧一切地把心底的秘密告訴她。
雖然知道她說的某些話只是讓我開心罷了，
但還是心存感謝和甜甜的感覺。
那是Bern的愛。

有一種愛，是放在心底的愛。
沒有衝動把它說出口，
只想靜靜地為他付出。
不管結果是什麼，
想到他，就是會想要笑。
不管別人的看法，
就是有感覺。
那是暗戀的愛。

有一種愛，是蝴蝶的愛。
是一種想要讓安定下來的愛。
配合著衝動，
這種愛就會開花結果。
足以讓人回味一輩子。
那是結婚的愛。

我們有太多太多的愛。
一生中遇見太多太多的人。
相比起來，我們的愛太少了。
不夠把愛給全部的人。
所以愛好珍貴。
所以愛好難得。
愛，

“愛要的只是TIMING，不需要多聰明”

2010-04-23T19:55:00.002+08:00

人生啊，
總是有那麼幾天，心樂會悶悶不樂的。
哪裡不爽，又說不出來。
哪裡不開心，也沒有哪裡。
就是心裡覺得怪怪的。
好久沒有這種感受了。
雖然不怎麼喜歡這種忐忑不安的感覺，但還是高興。
我好像突然又活過來了，有了生命，有了感受。
心裡的感覺，用在漂亮的文字，都不能形容。
心裡的感覺，用在優美的文筆，都寫不出來。
咳...
不要問，不要提，不要用關心的眼神看著我。
我不是要憐憫，不是要關心，不是要有人懂我的感受。
我只是想抒發而已。
就算全世界不懂也沒關係。
我只是想把它記錄下來。

默默的關心，也許也不必了。
我只是想靜靜的一個人。
觀察，欣賞，關懷。

就夠了。
不需要多餘的話語。
只需要體驗，就能明白。
哈哈。這感覺不是第一次，
但卻比第一次踏實。
至少讓我有個寄託吧。
每天微笑著上課。

我不能置身事外，
只能裝作不在乎，
然後再用文字發洩出來。

我就會好了。
我也許只是害怕失敗。
不然就是太想成功。
順其自然吧。

I want to be more approachable.
I want to be more friendly.
I want to be more polite.
I want to be more demure.
I want to be more quiet.
I want to be.. too many things.

I want to be alone(:(:

So, dont ask.
So, dont shower me with concern.

Because I dont need them now.
I need energy.
I need power.
I need motivation.

2010-04-17T20:05:00.001+08:00

你一直說的那個公園已經拆了
還記得盪著鞦韆日子就飛起來
漫漫的下午陽光都在臉上撒野
你那傻氣我真是想念

那時候小小的你還沒學會嘆氣
誰又會想到他們現在喊我女王
你哈哈笑的樣子倒是一點沒變
時間走了誰還在等呢

這杯咖啡忘了加糖
真不是我那麼傷感
世界太複雜你說單純很難
我當然都明白

可是呀只有你曾陪我在最初的地方
只有你才能了解我要的夢從來不大
我們沒有在一起至少還像情侶一樣
我痛的瘋的傷的在你面前哭得最慘

我知道你也不能帶我回到那個地方
你說你現在很好而且喜歡回憶很長
我們沒有在一起至少還像家人一樣
總是遠遠關心遠遠分享

那條路走呀走呀走呀總要回家
兩隻手握著晃呀晃呀捨不得放
你不知道吧後來後來我都在想
跟你走吧管它去哪呀

這杯咖啡忘了加糖
真不是我那麼傷感
世界太複雜你說單純很難
我當然都明白

可是呀只有你曾陪我在最初的地方
只有你才能了解我要的夢從來不大
我們沒有在一起至少還像情侶一樣
我痛的瘋的傷的在你面前哭得最慘

我知道你也不能帶我回到那個地方
你說你現在很好而且喜歡回憶很長
我們沒有在一起至少還像家人一樣
總是遠遠關心遠遠分享

可是呀只有你曾陪我在最初的地方
只有你才能了解我要的夢從來不大
我們沒有在一起至少還像情侶一樣
我痛的瘋的傷的在你面前哭得最慘

我知道你也不能帶我回到那個地方
你說你現在很好而且喜歡回憶很長
我們沒有在一起至少還像家人一樣
總是遠遠關心遠遠分享

我們沒有在一起至少還像朋友一樣
你遠遠的關心其實更長

2010-04-13T19:06:00.002+08:00

Cause honey, sensitivity cannot be taught,
That's why I kept quiet.
Cause darling, you have to learn it yourself,
That's why I walked away.
Cause I am so tired of everything.
That's why I want a rest.
Cause I have always been,
That's why I make an effort everytime.
Cause I dont know where are you,
That's why I get worried.
Cause I would love that you will come,
That's why I kept asking.
Cause I cant bear to force you
That's why I left you a choice.
Cause I know you are busy,
That's why I hide things from you.
Cause I think I know you well,
That's I leave you alone.
Cause you dont know,
That's why you left me hanging.
Cause you have no time to bother,
That's why I didnt want to your burden.
Cause you're my friend,
That's why I forgive and forget.
Cause I cant think of anymore excuse,
That's why I give up.

My dear friend,

what you said, may just be a passing comment. but spare a thought for me. It's been three going four years, and we all changed. I tried to pull you back, but you chose to drift away. There's nothing I could do anymore. When I told you I dont wanna lose that feeling, I meant it. Maybe you didnt take it seriously, but I do. I am so sick of asking you, how are you? what happened to you? How are you feeling? I just want you to ask me once, at least once, please my dear. I mean it when I told you I will always make time for you, and I really do and did. Its okay if you dont wanna come, dont know if you wanna come, cannot come, cause I had that feeling of watching my friend on stage, and I am happy. Its okay if you dont wnat/cannot have the feeling.

Cause my aristal only happen once,
That's why I want you to come so badly.

2010-04-05T21:38:00.001+08:00

Cause there aint perfect guys.

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect.
But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he
admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most
you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every
moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t
hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t
analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect
guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.

http://thenoisylove.tumblr.com/post/497644351/hes-not-perfect-you-arent-either-and-the-two?ref=nf

2010-03-29T21:47:00.002+08:00

Updates on my life.

2010-03-26T18:24:00.003+08:00

Updates! (:

School has started for one week already, and I haven't really got the momentum to do things. I am glad that I decided to be hardworking during the holidays because I only didnt complete maths! I am sooo happy that physics holiday assignments are done, and chemistry tutorials are properly finished!:D

Monday 22/03/2010
First day of school was stressful already because I had Maths and GP. Maths totally ruin my life and I don't know how my passion for maths evaporate, but its gone already. I really really hate it! I should love it, or else I will NEVER be able to do well! I wanna do some self-reflection, before my common test, because I dont like to be looked down, esp by maths teacher. (: Dance was extremely straining for the mind. I just cannot catch the music. Sometimes I regret not learning music instruments, but I am happy that I didnt. Or else I will struggling with music exams and academic exams.(: Stress is everywhere! I just realised how much tuition yiyan has, and then I know why she did so well for promos! I wanna get so many too, but I dont wanna strain my parents and! I really hope that i can do it myself, because I wnat to feel independentt! Sigh. The only thing that made me happy was my GP test results. Oh my tian! I passed, with a decent grade! But she will fall flat on her face the next test! ):

Wednesday 24/03/2010
A day to remember for life. Seriously. I got caught for my skirt. Like omgosh? I dont know how it happened, but it was like a dream. She just stopped us, and said we are rotten examples. At that point in time, my pores closed completely and I felt so numbed. It's really a whole new experience because I havent been caught for skirt at all. And ridiculously she wanted a new skirt! Hello, I have 5 at home and mine wasnt even cut! Then my anger came in. I think its really a great day from then because I realised I do have friends in NJ. I remembered how I desperately looked for friends to save me and I msged Mingyue. And I cannot believed that she agreed to lend me her skirt! Its really touching. We only got close last year and she was willing to help! The kind of feeling which I havent got in a while rush to my head, and I couldnt even concentrate in chem lecture. I think the feeling of being scared and touched is so weird, yet to special. Its really this day, then i know really how many people really care for me, and are willing to help. Kinship and friendship. (: Thank you so much for catching me, thanks for letting me know how this can feel like.(:

Friday 26/03/2010
A day of craziness and happiness. I finally enjoyed school(: I spend 1 hour slacking instead of trying to complete my vectors in CS 33, running around, messaging and laughing. The joy which I had not feel in nj before. The venue of past freedom and the people of present familiarity. Maths was disaterous, but I am happy that its friday and I have FINALLY completed my tutorial. I have this feeling that I will have to hand it in cause I did so badly for my maths test. Sigh. GO TAMMY! You can do it!

I dont know how to feel tomorrow. Should I be anticipating for fun-o-rama or should I be dreadful that I have to go? I dont know how to react. Siann! ):

2010-03-20T16:48:00.001+08:00

How can thing just disappear like that! omgosh. I want to cryy!

洛克先生 Mr. Rock

2010-03-18T17:11:00.004+08:00

洛克先生 Mr. Rock

你知道嗎？

2010-03-15T22:30:00.003+08:00

你知道嗎？
孩子之所以可愛，是因為他們不會掩飾他們的情緒。
想笑，就放聲的笑。
想哭，就嚎啕大哭。
任性，就亂發脾氣。
而我們，少了那麼一點的童真，就變得不討喜。
我們學會了偽裝。
因為我們膽卻了，害怕別人說我們無理取鬧，害怕人家說我們情緒化。
因為我們懂事了，知道我們的情緒會影響他人，不想當別人的累贅。
我們再也學不會直爽，因為我們學會了三思而後行。
所以我們把情緒藏起來，只敢一個人哭。
從前的我們多可愛啊。
不喜歡的，就能直接說，表現出來。
當我們漸漸老了，我們卻喪失了這個本能。
以前的我們，對於壞朋友，總是能對他們說出'我不喜歡你，不要跟你交朋友。 ’
或是只跟自己喜歡的表哥/弟/姐/妹玩鬧。
現在呢？我們卻只會戴著假面具做人，裝出一副親切的樣子。
我們的膽量去了哪裡？
是我們用它來換取了成熟嗎？

我好懷念以前的自己。
也許，以前的我很任性，不負責任。
但至少那時的我很誠實，很坦白。
喜歡哭，就會大聲地哭，不需要理由。

而現在呢？
每一滴眼淚，都要為自己找理由，否則就得強忍著，不讓它們流下來。

此時此刻的我，很想不負責任一次。
放下所有功課，大哭一場。

但，我做得到嗎？

領悟

2010-03-15T20:34:00.002+08:00

從你和我，要變成我們，要多久的時間？
從我們，變成你和我，要多短的時間？

Update on Mr Rock concert next time! Headache now! and tutorials to chionggg! GO TAMMY

Rewind.

2010-03-06T22:43:00.000+08:00

Why do I feel so tired after dance today? Sigh.

晓春

2010-02-24T22:30:00.001+08:00

My love loveee! :D

Retarded conversations

2010-02-23T20:59:00.000+08:00

#1. with bern darling
B: is 王老師coming today?
T: yup.
B:Friday ?
T: think so.
B： for what?
T: help out la.
B: he will help meh?
T: then he come for what?
B: HAHA! What a retarded conversation we just had.

#2. with gor gor
T: if you're going to jp tomorrow then can go ntuc?
C: okay. what you want to buy?
T: yay. help me buy the cereals.
C: ookay. Then cereal bar right?( thinking that i'm healthy)
T: no! The fruitty pebbles, colourful one
C: -.-||||||
T: HAHAHA!!!!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my Itouch:)

刺蝟

2010-02-18T17:04:00.001+08:00

最後一抹的微笑在轉身之後我閉上眼哭了
僅存的一點點驕傲華麗的外表終於丟掉
很徬徨很孤單是寂寞或悲慘一個人該怎麼辦

像是刺蝟般防範偽裝的勇敢不輕易讓你看穿
我以為可以很坦然面對分開時不覺得傷感
然而將燈關上一片無聲黑暗心痛的大聲呼喊

我想我沒那麼堅強每個女孩其實一樣
渴望著愛情的好渴望被擁抱
卻都害怕愛讓人受傷

承認我沒那麼堅強不過是一而再的逞強
小心將情緒收藏比傻瓜還傻
刺蝟的堅強全都是假象哭吧

像是刺蝟般防範偽裝的勇敢不輕易讓你看穿
我以為可以很坦然面對分開時不覺得傷感
然而將燈關上一片無聲黑暗心痛的大聲呼喊

我想我沒那麼堅強每個女孩其實一樣
渴望著愛情的好渴望被擁抱
卻都害怕愛讓人受傷

承認我沒那麼堅強不過是一而再的逞強
小心將情緒收藏比傻瓜還傻
刺蝟的堅強全都是假象

我想我沒那麼堅強每個女孩其實一樣
渴望著愛情的好渴望被擁抱
卻都害怕愛讓人受傷

承認我沒那麼堅強不過是一而再的逞強
小心將情緒收藏比傻瓜還傻
刺蝟的堅強全都是假象哭吧

iTunes

2010-02-16T21:55:00.003+08:00

I am shocked by the number of times I have listened to an lian.

Education

2010-02-15T23:04:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wonder what has education bring us? Indeed it brought us a better standard of living, helped us come out of the poverty cycle, but it negative effects? It made us more knowledgeable and more aware of things. But also more unwilling to accept traditions. We are disgusted by customs and traditions. It erodes our ancestors' values and we come up with our own. We insist that we are always right and refuse to listen. We now kow how much we can potentially earn and measure the cost of our life using our salary. That's why we are so afraid to die. We afraid of 2012 cause that's when we may all die together. We tend to lose the old just to accompdate the new. What have we become? Are we better off? I doubt so. All these education I have been through is the root of equality that women have een fighting for. Is that what all women want? At least not me.

Happy total defence day：）

A happy day!

2010-02-10T21:53:00.002+08:00

So not. Sigh. I forgot my wallet again, and luckily I slipped in some money in my ezlink pouch! hehe. so auntie, i know. :P but lucky, or else I wont have miloo!:D

Physics test was rahhh! I totally forgot so many things! I dont wanna go for conso! I hate WONG!!!!!

Then I had a nightmare about dance again! I dreamt that wang lao shi put me to dance with the JH people because I suck! Omgoshh):):):

Then I got entangled twice and I was fast twice for ending!!!!!!!

Then GLADYS MADE MY DAYY!
she said I look nice dancing!!:D hehe:D
or maybe she says that to everyone! ):

OMGOSH AND NO ONE TAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!):

Dear X

2010-02-09T21:19:00.002+08:00

The name of the real asshole has been changed to maintain class cohesiveness and maintain a superficial friendship till the end of nj life. I dont intend, not at all, to keep in contact with you. (:

Dear X,
if you decide to be such an asshole to be completely irresponsible of your last year's role, then why volunteer in the first place? Not only are you taking credit for everything that you HAVE not done, you are putting everyone's ___ at risk! All the time and hardwork we have put in, MAY not be counted thanks to your wonderful irresponsibility! I AM SUPER PISSED AT YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! YOU DESERVE TO DIEEEEE! >:(

I should have listened to Clement. Sigh.

Detest; Loathe; Hatred(:

2010-02-08T21:32:00.001+08:00

cause youre such a rude boy, that's why I hate you so much(:

My worst day ever..

2010-02-05T22:59:00.002+08:00

I cant believe what just happened to me! This is officially a super bad day of 2010 and I will definitely hate it till I forget! I met two people whom I dont want to see and they have the SAME initials!Sian. What's wrong with me!>:(

I am just not feeling right and I hope dance will be better tmr. I am feeling so drained!

To M:
Thank Mel for accompanying me home and not make my mummy go an extra trip! When everything just seem so right, you know that it isnt for. Though I didn't tell you what happened in school, and how frustrated I feel, you know I wasnt me. Whenever my mind wanders off, a gentle 'what happened to you?' brought me back. They made me feel humane. They make me feel like I am alive and things arent that bad afterall. We are both troubled today, and the bus ride today was long. But comfortable too. Not too much talking, but we knew silence was the best potion to make our days better. Thanks Mel! :D BBBF yeah(:

T-Theory~

2010-02-03T21:09:00.005+08:00

Omgosh, I am supppperrr happy that Shanjun helped me find my theory!:D

"T-theory is a branch of discrete mathematics dealing with analysis of trees and discrete metric spaces" from wikipedia. I have no idea what that means but I feel honoured that I actually have my own T theory!:D

I realise my blog is so boring and I have been telling my brother and L that their blogs are so boring! :P So so so, I shall post some photos on the Jap club fun fair! hehe:D

Dont be jealous that my whole family look good! :P:P:P HAHAHAHAHA

I am so sleepy that I think 2 looks like S!

Shall update on CCA carnival soon!

New blogskin!

2010-01-31T22:23:00.003+08:00

Wahaha. Finally, I am with a new blogskin done by my brother! Not exactly done by him cause the bg and stuff are taken from blogskins.com but he added the picture of us! Muahaha. Damn cute!:D

Those who wants your picture to be drawn and you dont look so awful to be drawn, can find me! I shall ask him to draw and definitely a nice one but a SUPER reasonable price! He should seriously sell such tees la! Look at Newbie and those kind of shops! Oh man, great plannn, Tammy!:D Haha.

Life is getting bad now. Oh man, I just started loving 2010! I dont wanna hate it so soon!!!!!

I hate long posts, cause I have no patience to write it! I shall update on the chado (dont know how to spell) thing today! A great experience even though I am not exactly into Japanese culture! hahaha! and bro's friends are kinda interesting, esp the girl interested in him cause she treats me well!:D Hahahahahaha! and the president is damnnnnnnnn curious! hahaha. Not too good that he is mixing well with his jap club people cause there aren't any ANYYYY pretty girl who suits him. BUT he should, cause the guys there are equally BLEHH! hehe:D

Stressful..

2010-01-24T16:04:00.004+08:00

Life becomes stressful when there are just too many things you're supposed to know, but you don't.
Life becomes stressful when there are just too many things you're supposed to do, but there aren't just enough time.
Life IS stressful!

RAHHHHHHH!

沒那麼簡單就能找到聊得來的伴
尤其是在看過了那麼多的背叛
總是不安只好強悍
誰謀殺了我的浪漫

沒那麼簡單就能去愛別的全不看
變得實際也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單一久也習慣
不用擔心誰也不用被誰管

感覺快樂就忙東忙西
感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話隨便聽一聽自己作決定
不想擁有太多情緒
一杯紅酒配電影
在周末晚上關上了手機舒服窩在沙發裡

相愛沒有那麼容易每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心所以最開心曾經

沒那麼簡單就能去愛別的全不看
變得實際也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單一久也習慣
不用擔心誰也不用被誰管

感覺快樂就忙東忙西
感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話隨便聽一聽自己作決定
不想擁有太多情緒
一杯紅酒配電影
在周末晚上關上了手機舒服窩在沙發裡

相愛沒有那麼容易每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心所以最開心曾經

相愛沒有那麼容易每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心所以最開心曾經
想念最傷心但卻最動心的記憶

2010-01-23T17:19:00.002+08:00

Today is a sad sad day, cause somebody ate my favourite angie the choice chocolate cake):

Photoshoot

2010-01-17T14:56:00.006+08:00

We chose the first two photos thats why there isnt any words on it. It cost another $180 to develop the rest! Superrr crazy.

Quote of the day: 我就是沒有說過我喜歡你這句話，但是我做了一百件我喜歡他的事

My messy mind.

2010-01-14T20:24:00.002+08:00

I am feeling so stressed in school now! Finally, I have the time to update this empty blog because I finished my maths homework!:D 2nd year in NJ is better, I think. I was standing at the bus stop while waiting for my brother to come fetch me today, and I saw so many people walking out and I waved like 5 times. Muahaha. I feel so friendly, but touched too. It feels like, omgosh, I have friends in Nj. Hahah. One of the most touching moments was when Shanjun left school and he waved to me. hehehe. I feel bonded to 21 suddenly. Maybe its because I am teh CIP rep! Talking about this, I feel soooooo glad that I have Wenda as the other rep. We were discussing about CIP and we had so much thoughts about CIP!:D Happy X2:D

GP is so stressful! Getting into A2 is seriously the biggest accident and mistake! I seriously dont belong there! ): All of them are so english-speaking people and my english is ): omgosh, I felt to stressed during the diagnostic test because I couldnt really understand the passage and so many words I dont know! Oh man, I am gonna drop to A7.

Bff left me a comment on Lj, so walalala.

To bff,
Hello my dear bff! Dont be so moody and emo! You have me to talk to! Ignore her and go flirt with other girls! If she really likes you, she will be damn jealous and talk to you! If she isnt the one for you, its good to know it now(: I wanna see a happy bff who will argue with me about stupid stuff and joke with me about random things! Dont be stressed over school work! cause I am stressed already! you cannot be stressed cause you needa help me destressed!:D Hehehe! We jiayou together kay!:D

Pre-First-Day-Of-School-Phobia.

2010-01-10T22:01:00.003+08:00

omgosh, I am back again! I cant believe how fast this is, and I am sick of livejournal!:D Blogger is still the best cause its user-friendly and my brother has been singing praises!:D I have so many things (thoughts, events, photos,etc.) to post but everytime I log on, I will get so lazy and close the window. Hehe(:

I am seriously suffering from some sort of weird illness, as stated as the title.(: I am having butterflies in my stomach and hello, this is like my 235235th 1st day already. Furthermore, Bern was saying whats there to worry about when I am going to the same old boring place, seeing the same people, talking to the same gang of peeps. True, but rah.

First day of school sucks. Cause school will go around checking your attire, thinking that how you look directly affects your results, which to some extent, true. but but but, we have the right to look pretty and bimbotic okayy! This post shall be full of crap and shit cause my mind isnt right and my hands are typing at lightning speed!:D

Some simple updates about life is simple: Nothing.(: Things have changed to the better side since 2010, I guess. I have grown closer to Mel, like once again. Haha. Its like an on and off thing. We get close, and drift away suddenly and when we realise, we chat and tadah be bffs again. hehe. Such weird relationship kind of make it stronger cause we wont be irritated with each other's stupidity and quarrel over stupid things. (: We are so similar yet different. Sigh. Mel is soooo excited about school, maybe cause he is in AC, and I am sadly stuck in NJ. Walala.

There is dance tomorrow, which means going home at 7.30 and no time for maths. I havent done any maths): Wa): I hope I can sleep today, cause I am still super nervous!):

I wanna change my blogskin to something purple!
(hint hint 哥哥. Help me please!:D)

2009-11-19T21:03:00.001+08:00

bye!

TAMMY

Go back, and think.

NTU life..

尊重

Angry

Elections

長大了

角色

Busy bee

My blogshop!!

力量

Guilt

Falling

Mo you

Efforts

Dance

Life:)

當我知道你們相愛

當我知道你們相愛

懦弱的我

My last day

我的生活 只差那个人就美满

改變

蜕变

一句话的重量

何維健 - 當我知道你們相愛 首播(Story版) MV

Passion.

MERRY CHRISTMASSS:D

台中聖誕音樂會_胡夏_3_愛都是對的

圣诞-新的开始！

女孩的悲哀

世界怎麼了？

我懂了

亂

置身事外

阿妹A MEI/阿密特 A MIT - 掉了 完整 MV

錯過

奇妙

Faith

一句话的重量

一封簡訊

矛盾

不能说的秘密

鍾嘉欣-暗示(原裝MV)高畫質立體 聲版

Updates on my life.

洛克先生 Mr. Rock

你知道嗎？

領悟

Rewind.

晓春

Retarded conversations

刺蝟

iTunes

Education

A happy day!

Dear X

Detest; Loathe; Hatred(:

My worst day ever..

T-Theory~

New blogskin!

Stressful..

Photoshoot

My messy mind.

Pre-First-Day-Of-School-Phobia.

我的生活只差那个人就美满

何維健 - 當我知道你們相愛首播(Story版) MV

阿妹A MEI/阿密特 A MIT - 掉了完整 MV

鍾嘉欣-暗示(原裝MV)高畫質立體聲版